I NEED MOTIVATION!!

were we brave? foolish? stupid? wise?

2012-01-20T18:53:00.000+08:00

saw some post about the following post from a hwachong senior and thought it was really well-writen, and it resonates (a little) especially after going back to visit the teachers yesterday. here goes:

it’s 2012. can it really have been nine years since i stepped into hwachong for the first time, felt the gentle breeze on the air there, felt a little scared of the way the noise in the canteen bounced off the walls, full of happy khaki-clad people? i was still in my rgs uniform, worn paper-thin from 4 years of wear, wondering if i would fit in. i had a face full of pimples and awkward specs, plus for some reason the way i wore my belt made one of my shoulders look higher than the other.

we were bundled into lt5, and barnard gave us a talk. he made some remarks about pornographic uniforms. we leaned over the benches eagerly, wondering if we had what it takes – worried about the humanities scholarship interview, whether we would be unceremoniously kicked out after three months. we eyed each other carefully, curiously – scoping out comely members of the opposite (or same – ) sex, most of us excited we had finally left the monastic life of secondary school.

in the morning we stood in a single file, always in a predetermined order which was mysteriously preordained and fixed after a few weeks. i stood between (i think) junrong and jane. then we sat on the floor and giggled whenever someone said “wahchong farmily”. we never imagined that we would EVER be nine years older.
the most urgent task was passing block tests. barnard kept a list of everyone’s results on his desk, cunningly face up, and no one needed telling to go check on themselves. some were discouraged, some galvanized.

in the afternoons we walked across the cow grass from hwachong to chinese high or sim to eat food that wasn’t necessarily better, just different. junrong could polish off three plates of spaghetti, and yet remained skinny as an ostrich. sometimes we bumped into the chinese high guys’ teachers. sometimes we just sat around talking cock and drinking just tea.
the clock tower rose gracefully from the tar-paved road that arced, a smooth crescent, around the green field. leaves skittered from the trees when the wind came, our shoes got damp from the evening dew.

the air con in the library was cold. we wore jackets while mugging. tong-kai had an discman which sometimes he shared with people to listen to bach while studying. when the rain fell, it clattered over the tin roofs that sheltered the new block.

sometimes, in between class, lt5 got a little noisier as we relaxed, reading play scripts or explaining econs to mel. kaisiang would steal my camera, and start taking glamour shots of shwang. or videos. joyce scrambled over the tables chasing someone for something. someone would snatch away someone else’s essay because they had spotted a new (higher) mark and wanted to photocopy.

we ponned assembly and CT. sometimes we hid behind lt5. we were assigned the weird velvet-cushioned seats right at eye level of whatever speaker was addressing us. the whole two years, the only good speaker i remember was royston tan. the rest of them made us “stone”.

mr miles expressed interest in the phenomenon of “stoning”, whereby one sits very still and takes on the properties of stones, conserving energy to be spent later on soccer, choir, shufa, drama, or any manner of things.

barnard gave his class lecture. some of us are still marxist determinists to this day; others have turned alarmingly neocon. who knew? back in those days, it was just a fancy new graph to me. S/D curves, PPBs, nifty things to write poems about of a salacious nature.

things got more serious at the end of j2. the desperate scramble for universities and scholarships. did any of us even really know what it meant, to leave your homeland for three, four years, some of us forever? the thing seemed bright and just within grasp – that thing, whatever that thing was, that haunts us from the corners of our eyes and in the middle of our nightscared dreams – doing our families proud, living up to expectations, giving back to the country, returning in glory someday to the motherland.

the silent disappointment, the crazy desperation, the grim determination for something bright and glossy in the scholarship talks, always flashing some bright promise of winter jackets and graduation gowns and hats and certificates – all in the picturesque setting of somewhere with snow.

we were so young when the envelopes started coming, or not coming. what did they bring, what harbingers of fate winged their ways through the mails? what did it mean for our futures, our pasts, our loves? we were hungry, young, eager to please, contorting desperately for a chance at the golden ticket to a far country. did we think about what we would find there? did we imagine it could change everything on the outside and in?
were we brave? foolish? stupid? wise?

hahaha i guess the last part is really a food for thought for all of us (and there's still chance for damage control for the guys!)

i believe being in a good school just adds on to the pressure of getting a scholarship/ going overseas as these are deemed as the "elite of the elites" or rather, 'damn pro' track (other than doing law, med or dentistry locally). and this senior really puts it so nicely:

doing our families proud, living up to expectations (as a hwachong student and as an individual, doing ourselves proud), for fulfilling that childhood dream of taking photos in trench coat in a faraway land with snow, giving back to the country, returning in glory someday to the motherland.

of course there might be some exceptions for different people, but i reckon these are some of the considerations that would have run through our minds.

i wouldn't say that i'm not disappointed for not being able to go to my dream university, but up till now, i'm not regretting my choice yet. i do not know if i'll be able to give the same answer in years to come, but for one thing that i'm sure of: everything happens for a purpose, and it's up to us to determine what it is. and i do believe that regardless of where you go to, there are opportunities; it's up to us to seize them.

2012-01-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i last posted! hahaha and i actually forgot my blog url for that short span of 10 seconds (Y)
anyway, i've decided to push myself to yet another limit, and if i really survive this semester with my target gpa, i'll really be elated, congratulate myself and thank God for His blessings. (:

Just share another song which i've probably shared before, but it's so awesome so no harm sharing twice!

p.s. i shall start kicking the addiction of watching dramas till late at night. either that, or i should just aim to finish everything during the chinese new year break!

2012-01-04T22:38:00.003+08:00

this is so good (:

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

2012-01-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

the mandatory year-end conclusion post.

2011 really flew by as fast as it can be.
so many things happened, so many choices made i don't even know if they were right or not.

started off the year with a trip to taiwan to find my relatives. spent three days in kinmen, which is really a small village with nothing other than heritage sites and awesome home-cooked food. so it was a trip of ultimate camwhoring in the nature, maximum fattening and minimum shopping trip. used to complain a lot about it (how wasteful it is to not shop and visit the more famous places in taipei), but now i am thankful enough that i can go to kinmen and get to know all my cousins better. looking forward to meeting all of them yet again! (:

teaching internship at kellocks. honestly, i didn't learn a lot out of this experience. perhaps it was because i really do not want to be a teacher, and i just viewed the internship as yet another compulsory 'item' on the CV checklist. in retrospect, probably i should have taken the job in EDB as a data entry person. but then again, maybe not. whatever it is, i actually do not regret (that much) for taking up this internship, because I know more certainly that I do not want to be a teacher. and at least i was immersed in cute little girls for one month plus! (;

moving on, the most exciting thing for this year. make a guess what it is!

is it A levels result release? not quite. though I'm really thankful for the results that I got. like what ning said, i really felt a little disappointed and scared when my name didn't appear on the 8 distinctions list haha. but at the end of the day, results really didn't help much. i still lost it to my lack of oral communication and presentation skills. or more importantly, self-confidence.

is it the cutting of my hair? hahaha sounds so bimbo/blonde, which is so not me, so obviously not. but just a note to all, please do not attempt to cut your long hair short yourself.

is it working in YMCA? close to yes, but not the most! I'm really thankful for this opportunity to work at the Y, getting to know awesome friends, getting to REALLY do work, getting scolded by people, getting so much experiences in the semi-commercial world. i really look forward to every tuesdays' GROW sessions, because we'll get to sing beautiful hymns (and get to go home earlier that day), though i always fell asleep during GROW. but there is this one particular sharing which i remember was from Matthew 13:19-23, about sowing God's Word on good grounds so that it can multiply by thirty, sixty, hundred folds, as compared to sowing on unprepared hearts. and this is something that i'll strive to do this year: setting good grounds for Him to grow in me.

is it the Hongkong trip with zhen? it was the most epic trip I've ever had in my whole life, because both of us were actually so careless to even book the wrong flight back! hahahahaha! waste money. but it was still fun nonetheless. shopping, eating, camwhoring, sightseeing. all these at your own leisure pace, with an awesome accompany. what else can you ask for? (: Although i missed APD, which is something that i really really really yearn to go to since start of j1, i'm still thankful for this epic flight error that we've made because it made me realize that at the end of the day, your family are still the ones that will always be there for you. new year resolution: bicker less with parents.

so what is it actually?

i would say it's Bethany. i still remember my first time to Bethany was to watch the Easter performance. At that time, it was more of just a social thing - to support Jonas for his performance. the people there were friendly, or perhaps over-friendly haha. but either way, i didn't go with an open heart to accept Christ. not until after June, when Huier wanted to go to a church and I recommended her Jonas' church. And this was where amazing happened. If you were to ask me why I convert, honestly speaking, I couldn't pinpoint a certain event or incident that made me realise God's almighty love and power and what not. I may not even be able to utter His mercies through personal anecdotes. Yet there is one thing that I want to and have to say, and that is, I've consecrated my life to Him. And His answer to my prayer, found in Psalm 62. (: to be honest, I feel quite disappointed in myself for forgetting about Him sometimes, especially when I am rushing something or when I am enjoying myself with friends around, being caught up in the worldly things. and that is why my new year resolution is to prepare a good heart, so that His Word can grow in me.

i'm also thankful for the chance to be part of YCC Dec 2011 as a volunteer leader. honestly speaking, i've always thought that i really cannot lead(inferiority i guess?). but through this camp, i've learnt that as long as you set yourself to believe that you can, you can. and i'm really grateful to have terence as my buddy, for being such a nice guy and always tolerating all my nonsensical things. and i'm so happy that he is finally together with her! wheee! :D chimpanzee hooray!

lastly, foochow trip. i really thank God for making this trip so enjoyable. i seriously didn't expect anything out of this trip, judging from the fact that i didnt know anyone before the trip. but thankfully, everyone was so nice and accommodating, and so enthusiastic that everything just happened spontaneously, making things so much easier. of course, the only downside is that i missed Christmas celebration and worship, but for that, I actually managed to find a church in the small town where I was living in. Praise the Lord for that! (:

looking forward, i really have nothing much to wish for. I just want to continue praying for the revelation of His plans, and that I will continue to prepare a good harvest ground for His Word.

or maybe there is one thing that i want to do, and that is to fall in love.
and here's why:

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

To everyone reading this, I pray for a good year ahead for you. Start loving someone today. And that hopefully one day you will be able to hear about the gospels. (:

Amen.

2011-12-21T16:28:00.001+08:00

i know i haven't been blogging for quite a while due to my enriching holiday plans! (:

youth conference was a blast. literally.
and that was the first time i've sat through a consecration night, the first time i felt fear when i realized i couldn't stand up for the Lord, the first time i cried out to the Lord, the first time i heard my prayers answered through Psalm 62:8, and the first time i felt joy so indescribable.
thank you Pastor Charlie and my sunday school class, and everyone at Bethany that made me feel God's love so real ♥

and then there's ycamp. epic camp, quoting many.
to be honest, i really felt quite guilty at the start of it because i seemed to be contributing so little to the team, and the sole contribution that i had was pretty much screwed up (i.e. comm shirt color cui) and i had doubts on whether i can click well with my buddy, whether we can hype up the crowd and whether we can inspire the volunteers.
i wouldn't say that it was a perfect job done, nor was it the best that i could have given, but i really learnt a lot from this camp and i thank God for that. i can still vividly remember how the y-confidence boys teared when their buddies left, and how everyone just started crying and cheering for them during the prize presentation. thank you chimpanzee. and thank you buddy, i really enjoyed working with you (:

looking forth, china trip.
to be honest, it is a mixed feeling. on one hand, it is like an escapee from this sunny (more like rainy now though) island and to relax and camwhore (and shop maybe?). but on the other hand, i miss out on so much gathering and fellowship here in singapore. especially christmas. ):

so if there is one thing that i wish for this christmas,
this following song summarizes it really well (:

here's an early merry christmas to all! (:
(lest i can't get through china's firewall)

2011-12-01T23:36:00.001+08:00

i totally went back to read my j1 blog post and they were hilarious haha!

and i found this funny thing which i shall try to do it again!

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You do your own laundry
[ ] You vote every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[x] You think politics are exciting
[ ] You balance your own checkbook
[ ] Your parents have better things to say than your friends
Total: 4

[x] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[x] You've never gotten a detention
[x] You have never smoked a cigarette
[x] You have never gotten completely trashed
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You've watched talk shows.
[x] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[ ] You drink coffee[caffiine] at least once a week.
Total: 11

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it.
[x] My parents trust me
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[ ]You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[x] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college
[ ] You remember to feed your pets
Total: 18

[x] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
[ ] You work out on a regular basis.
[ ] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[x] You have gained weight since middle/high school
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[ ] You can type quickly
Total: 20

[x] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[ ] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[x] You have more bills than you can pay
[ ] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[x] You can say no to staying out all night
[x] You use the internet every day
[x] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[x] You can read a book and actually finish it
Total: 26

cool dude, the last time i did it (2 years ago) i got 24 years old.
hmmm. probably at this rate i will never get married hahaha!
which was a thought that came to my mind recently.
perhaps i might just remain as i am now for the rest of my life!

which brings me to the next point (:

there is this one person that i really really want to thank for being part of my life
for always being there to hear me bitch
niao each other about being fat and blonde
encourage me when i have little faith
scold me when i have absolutely no faith or too paranoid
talking to me late until 2am without any agendas
trying to pollute my apparently-not-so-polluted mind (though greatly unnecessary!)

du shared this term "闺蜜" with me
and i really want to thank you for being my 闺蜜, my dear friend (:

2011-11-30T23:45:00.001+08:00

how do i live without you, i want to know.
how do i breathe without you, if you ever go.
how do i ever, ever survive?
how do i, how do i, how do i live?

tell me how do i live without awesome friends (:

*

and i've watched this movie that du recommended: 失恋33天
i won't say that it is a nice movie, but it does have a nice plot.
and one of the most memorable lines goes:

"看着药水的这一刻，我突然明白，原来在这段感情里没有人全胜而退，我曾经是路然的梦想，关于未来的每一幕里，他都希望有我的出演，而到了结尾是我们通通惨败，我毁掉的是他关于我的这个梦想，而他欠我的是一个本来承诺好的世界。"

当猛然间从梦境里清醒过来，才发现，在爱情的世界里，没有对错，没有胜败，有的只是爱或不爱。极端两面派的我，不去触碰这份感情的伤口，害怕曾经的如胶似漆变成两败俱伤后的陌路。这种伤痛会在心底留下一条深深的，深深的伤口，身心俱疲的疼痛。声嘶力竭的哭喊，哀求，放下身段，放下自尊，卑微的去乞求着他的回头。如乞讨者般，奢求着对方能给自己，哪怕一点点怜惜的施舍。但可明白，一个不爱了的人，你所有的卑微在他眼里也不过尔耳。转身的刹那，尽是决绝，毫无留恋。爱了，倦了，累了，不爱了。疲惫不堪的心已无力再去顾忌那个曾经疼入骨髓的人了。一切就这样成了定局。爱了，倦了，散了。不得不去面对，不得不去习惯，面对过往的记忆，习惯现在已不能在拥有的曾经的习惯。忍受着烙在心头的那颗石头的折磨，期盼着时间能治愈这一切。时间确实是上好的疗伤药。久了，心头那颗闹心的石头，也终会如蚌育珠般，在记忆的深处变得璀璨起来。

就这样，这一年也就要到尾声了。

2011-11-26T22:09:00.001+08:00

直到接通沈佳仪的手机,已经过了好久好久。

“你没事吧?”我松了口气。

“没事啊,只是刚刚的地震真的很可怕。”沈佳仪余悸犹存。

“你没事就好......听我住在台北的同学说,他们家附近的旅馆倒了下来,所以震央说不定真的在台北?吁——总之,你没事,真的太好了。”我将机车停在路边,熄火。

一抬头,满天悲伤的星火。

“你呢?在学校宿舍吗?”

“不算。刚刚挺恐怖的呢,整栋楼好像要拔出地面自己逃跑一样。”

“你真好。到现在还是那么关心我,我真的很感动。”她幽幽的说道。

“感动个大头鬼,你可是我追了八年的女生耶,你不见了,我以后要找谁回忆我们的故事啊。”我哼哼,故意扯开情绪。

好不容易接通,我可不愿就此挂上电话。

由于我喜欢沈佳仪得“历史”实在是太久了,女友心中对沈佳仪始终存有芥蒂, 为了避免跟女友吵架,我跟沈佳仪的联络越来越少,联络越少,可以聊的话题就变的很局限,甚至到了两、三月才连络一次的稀薄。

但我却因此更加珍惜可以聊天的时间。例如现在。

借着一场排山倒海的大地震,那夜我们像以前一样,东拉西扯聊了起来,许多高国中时代的回忆被一鼓作气打翻,泄了满地。

我的情感,也被莫可名状的魔法缠卷包覆,在跌宕的回忆里打滚。

沈佳仪舍不得挂电话,我也不介意被风吹整夜。

“记不记得在大学联考分数公布的那晚,你曾经问过我,愿不愿意听你的答案?” 我顺着风向问道。

“当然记得啊,我想讲,但你硬是不肯听。”她可得意了。

“我那个时候没有勇气,现在不一样了......我想听。”

“你啊,错过了大好机会呢。”

我莞尔。

“那个时候我就不明白,为什么你不肯听我说我喜欢你,想跟你在一起呢?你求我别讲,我就不想自己说了。”

“......”我从莞尔变成苦笑。

“柯景腾,你总是太有自信,口口声声说总有一天一定会追到我、娶我,却在面对答案的时候很胆小呢。”她嘲弄着我。

“因为当时我太喜欢你啦,喜欢到,如果你的答案将我拒于千里之外,我会不知道自己该怎么面对你......面对我自己。”我很老实,搔着头。

“不过我也有错。”

“喔?强者沈佳仪也会犯错?”

“什么强者啊”她噗嗤一笑:“常常听到别人说,恋爱最美的部分就是暧昧的时候, 等到真正在一起,很多感觉就会消失不见。当时我想,你不想听到答案,干脆就让你再追我久一点,不然你一旦追到我之后就变懒了,那我不是很亏吗?所以就忍住,不告诉你答案了。”

“可恶,早知道我就听了。”我恨恨不已:“所以我们重复品尝了恋爱最美的暧昧时期,却没吃到最后的果实。混帐啊,你果然要负一半的责任。”

“还敢说......谁知道那个老是说要娶我的人,竟然一点挫折都受不起,骂两句就嚷着放弃,没几天就跑去交女朋友。好像喜欢我是假的耶!”她糗我。

“哈,不知道是谁喔?竟然用光速交了男朋友这种方式来响应我呢。说我幼稚, 自己也没好到哪里去嘛!”我糗回去。

我们哈哈大笑,畅怀不已。哔哔,哔哔......我的手机发出电量即将用罄读警示声。 “快没电了。”

“谢谢你今晚,会想到要打电话关心我。”

“嗯。我才要谢谢你告诉我当年的答案,说真的,我松了口气,你的答案让我知道我对你的喜欢,原来一值都是有响应的,而不是我一个人在跳舞。这对我很重要。”我看着城市上空的红色星光,说:“我的青春,从来不是一场独白。”

“你说得真感性,也许有一天你会当作家喔。” “那么,再见了。”

“等等......”她急着说。

“喔?”

“如果手机没有突然断讯,再让你听见一个,应该会让你臭屁很久的事吧。” “洗耳恭听。”

“自从你交了女朋友,我还以为你对我的喜欢,迟早都会让你跟你的女朋友分手, 那时就可以名正言顺跟你在一起了。结果等啊等,你们都一直好好的,让我很羡幕,可是也没办法。”

什么跟什么啊?但我还真的很感动。

然而人生不是一个人,喜欢,也不是一个人的。

我已经将另一个女孩嵌进我的人生,那女孩的人生亦然。我无法掉头就走,那也是我珍贵守护的爱情。

“没办法,我就是这种人。一旦喜欢了,就得全力以赴。”我承认。

“是啊,我喜欢你是这种人。但其实今年愚人节,我原本要打电话给你,问你想不想跟我在一起。

”她的语气轻快,并没有失望。

“真的假的!”我大吃一惊。

“真的啊。如果你回答不要,那我还可以笑着说是愚人节的玩笑。如果你点头说好,那么,我们就可以在一起啦。”沈佳仪大大方方地说。

瞬间,我整个人无法动弹。 “一点,都不像是沈佳仪会做出来的事耶?”我呀然。

“是阿,所以够你得意的吧,柯景腾。”她逗趣。几乎无话可说,我内心充满感激。尽管我无法给她,她所希望的爱情答案,然而我深深喜欢的这个女孩,并没有吝惜她的心意,她将我错过的一切倒在我的心底。

暖暖地溢满、溢满。

“少了月老的红线,光靠努的爱情真辛苦,错过了好多风景。”我真诚希望:“也许在另一个平行时空,我们是在一起的。”

“......真羡幕他们呢。”她同意。

沈佳仪的声音,消失在失去电力的手机里。

我没有立刻发动机车,只是呆呆地回忆刚刚对话的每一个字,想象着久未谋面的她,脸上牵动的表情。真想凝视着沈佳仪,看着她亲口说出这些话的模样。

夜风吹来,淡淡的沾上我的身,又轻轻的离去。

一九九九年,九月二十一日,凌晨一点四十七分,台湾发生芮氏规模六点八的强烈大地震。

那夜,二十一岁的我,心中也同样天旋地转。

我与她之间的爱情,总算有个不圆满,却很踏实的句点。

最近发行唱片的地下乐团“苏打绿”,有首《飞鱼》的歌词很棒:“开花不结果又有什么?是鱼就一定要游泳?”

没有结果的恋爱,只要开了花,颜色就是灿烂的。

见识了那道灿烂,我的青春,再也无悔。

＊

不知不觉地就把小说读完了。
常常坚信看电影一定会比看小说还要动人、真实。
而且阅读很烦人，读不到己也就昏昏欲睡（从来没有成功读完任何有电影版的小说）
但是。
却在几个小时内就把这故事给读完了。

说实在的，也不知道是什么“力量”推动我，甚至放弃宝贵的苦读书的时间！！
而且，看过了电影，也知道了结局。故事的起伏似乎没那么有吸引力了吧？
但是。

大概是。

＊

“我經常在想，為什麼關於”青春”的電影，總是樂此不疲拍個不停，而所有觀眾，包括我自己，再看了無數青春電影之後，下一部出現時，依舊照樣買單。也許我們都需要在不斷往前走的人生中，不斷回顧心中最美好的地方，好讓我們在越來越殘酷的現實中，依然保有簡單快樂與自由感受的權利。”

那些年，我们一起追的快乐。
那些年，我们一起追的梦想。
那些年，我们一起追的。

－未结篇－

2011-11-25T21:35:00.001+08:00

你的愛值得信賴你的心靠在身邊
只要你在我就有許多夢想
只要你在我就有更多力量

親愛的我多麼幸運人海中能夠遇見你
親愛的我多麼盼望就從這一刻起和你分享所有感覺

親愛的我多麼幸運人海中能夠遇見你
親愛的我多麼盼望就從這一刻起和你分享真心的感覺

你的愛沒有保留你的心獻給了我
只要你在我就有更多理想
與你同在就好像擁抱天堂

親愛的我多麼幸運人海中能夠遇見你
親愛的我多麼盼望每一天在這裡永遠永遠有家的感覺

親愛的我多麼幸運人海中能夠遇見你
親愛的我多麼盼望每一天在這裡和你分享家的感覺

*

saw this comment from the youtube video:

知道嗎?看見她們倆接吻的一刻, 相信很多人和我一樣, 淚水自覺地流了出來, 當你知道你心愛的人卻與另一個人結婚, 只會有一種情緒 : 心傷

不論如何, 我還是覺得佳宜仍是喜歡著柯騰的, 只不過, 當一段感情放下了那麼久, 無論是如何地深刻過, 開心過, 到最後也只會給冷落, 這就是愛情, 無論你如何愛她, 到最後看見她穿上婚沙, 你的心態可能仍存有不甘心, 但你仍是會默默地祝福她, 因為你始終愛你, 就算不能走在一起, 你仍
然是愛著她的時候, 你就無時無刻想她開心快樂, 希望她開開心心過下半生

it's often said that the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment.
honestly speaking, i really had great expectations about the movie. and when the movie ended, i was like: "so this is it? like overrated leh!"

but.

after that, i realized i couldn't stop thinking about the story.
the scene when the girl asked him: 你想知道答案吗？我现在就可以告诉你。
the scene when the guy called her after the earthquake and she said: 被你喜欢过，就感觉别人没那么喜欢了。谢谢你爱我。
and the wedding scene, the walk in and the "kissing scene".

indeed, 人生本来就有很多事是徒劳无功的
joie de vivre.

2011-11-16T20:23:00.001+08:00

have faith like a lil' mustard seed.

p.s. aza aza fighting!

2011-11-15T22:23:00.001+08:00

2011-11-14T21:13:00.001+08:00

這幾天你在那個城市天氣一定晴朗
因為你就是個太陽
有空想念我的話就上線來說晚安
讓夢裡星光燦爛

別再擔心我什麼了別把我寵壞
只要你平安回來就夠浪漫

這幾天沒有你在當然有些平淡孤單
但我感謝這孤單
讓我更加確定你是我缺少的那一半
完整我的那一半

不怕明天的世界會變成怎樣
每天看見你笑臉我就心安
不管外面的世界想變成怎樣
我們還有我們的小小天堂

我有你放在心上生命就有了重量
風來也不會飄盪
一起看海枯石爛一起等地老天荒
慢慢愛不慌不忙

我有你守在身旁眼睛就可以勇敢
看歲月怎麼漫長
就算真海枯石爛就算已地老天荒
還相愛就沒遺憾 (不遺憾)

2011-11-12T13:54:00.001+08:00

hahahaha, best.
well, i actually survived week 13. can't believe it.
fairly speaking, i think that university is actually okay content-wise.
it's just how you have so many things coming in at the same time and how time passes so quickly.
so it's actually a lot of time management. and self-discipline.
but on top of that, i guess the most important thing, especially in a business school, is to pick up two things: soft skills and network.

after a few presentations this week, i realized that the best presenters are actually those who can do it so naturally even though it's rehearsed. i can't do it right now, but i am striving towards that and this is something that i wish to accomplish after year 1 - ability to speak up as and when, and as natural as possible.

**

- gonna continue after class, final presentation later on! :D -

2011-11-08T22:22:00.000+08:00

hello woman!
i can't imagine that this is one of the only photos we took together haha!
it has been like 5 years since we've known each other, we were only 15 last time omg so young hahahaha! and now we are both 19 already, time flies pleaseeeee!

but regardless, i'm so glad that our friendship still stood the challenge of times (pardon my bad english!)
i'm really really glad that you are enjoying your time in bristol now, yes i've been stalking your photos on Facebook haha! and they are all such happy photos wheee! :D

i still remember that we once had a conversation somewhere this year when i was deciding about uni, whether to go or stay. and you said that, please go out if you can afford to (i remember we were complaining about social mobility or something also haha) looking back, i should have heed your advice man haha! kind of regretting it a little now, but ohwells! i will pull through this and make the full use of the free money they give me now!

and please wait for me to visit you in bristol! i'm working hard to realize that little dream of mine to go travel uk and europe, might take a while to get enough money haha but i WILL come okay! (:

all the best in college and take care!

p.s. happy nineteenth birthday! (:

with love,
xinyan

2011-11-04T20:36:00.002+08:00

还记得小时候一起扮演故事里的小熊小猫小狗和狐狸
those were the happy and carefree times! (:

at this point of time, i already fear aging. in fact, i really don't wanna grow anymore.
because the world out there is full of danger.
什么事都不再那么单纯了。

*

but nonetheless, i'll always know that there are friends and family for me to count on(:

2011-11-01T09:56:00.000+08:00

If you have faith as a mustard seed . . . nothing will be impossible for you —Matthew 17:20

We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. But we do not earn anything through faith— faith brings us into the right relationship with God and gives Him His opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of your experience as His saint to get you in direct contact with Himself. God wants you to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment of His blessings. The beginning of your life of faith was very narrow and intense, centered around a small amount of experience that had as much emotion as faith in it, and it was full of light and sweetness. Then God withdrew His conscious blessings to teach you to “walk by faith” (2 Corinthians 5:7). And you are worth much more to Him now than you were in your days of conscious delight with your thrilling testimony.

Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God’s character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith being worked out into reality must experience times of unbroken isolation. Never confuse the trial of faith with the ordinary discipline of life, because a great deal of what we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive. Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him— a faith that says, “I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do.” The highest and the greatest expression of faith in the whole Bible is— “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15).

2011-10-29T12:20:00.000+08:00

Happy Halloween everyone! :D

haha i have no idea why halloween suddenly becomes such a hapz event to celebrate, probably because we are more free now (no As) and more camwhorish than ever! okay at least for me hahaha! that's why when i got bored last night, i started camwhoring (in halloween theme, exclude the costume though)! so exciting! ^^

and this time round, i'm really going on hiatus! no more excuses already, because this is the start of my REAL SMUGGER life:

3 presentations in a week, 2 quizzes, 1 week of study break and then 5 exams!

see you guys around when November ends, till then,
please start booking me to go out and play hahaha :D

p.s. jiayous and fighting!!

2011-10-26T09:51:00.004+08:00

又回到最初的起點
記憶中妳青澀的臉
我們終於來到了這一天
桌墊下的老照片
無數回憶連結

好想再回到那些年的時光
回到教室座位前後

Listening to this song makes me realize that in 4 years' time I'm no longer a student any more, and how old I am since I'm turning 20 next year gosh. ): such scary thoughts!

2011-10-19T12:48:00.003+08:00

*
(Elphaba):Im limitedJust look at me - Im limitedAnd just look at youYou can do all I couldn't do, GlindaSo now it's up to youFor both of us - now it's up to you.

(Glinda):I've heard it saidThat people come into our lives for a reasonBringing something we must learnAnd we are ledTo those who help us most to growIf we let themAnd we help them in returnWell, I don't know if I believe that's trueBut I know I'm who I am todayBecause I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbitAs it passes a sunLike a stream that meets a boulderHalfway through the woodWho can say if I've been changed for the better?But because I knew youI have been changed for good

(Elphaba):It well may beThat we will never meet againIn this lifetimeSo let me say before we partSo much of meIs made from what I learned from youYou'll be with meLike a handprint on my heartAnd now whatever way our stories endI know you have re-written mine
By being my friend.
Like a ship blown from its mooringBy a wind off the seaLike a seed dropped by a skybirdIn a distant woodWho can say if I've been changed for the better?But because I knew you

(Glinda):Because I knew you

(Both):I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):And just to clear the airI ask forgivenessFor the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):But then, I guess we knowThere's blame to share

(Both):And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):Like a comet pulled from orbitAs it passes a sunLike a stream that meets a boulderHalfway through the wood

(Elphaba):Like a ship blown from its mooringBy a wind off the seaLike a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):Who can say if I've beenChanged for the better?I do believe I have beenChanged for the better

(Glinda):And because I knew you

(Elphaba):Because I knew you

(Both):Because I knew youI have been changed for good
*
Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt, we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in this moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
We suckled on the hope in lite brassieres
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted
And who the hell was I?
I'm breaking at the bridges
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?
Ooh, ooh
* 
gotten back one of my mid terms today. have to conclude that i have indeed played too much for the past few months and now all my results are not as good as expected. time to start mugging already! 
sidenote: I REALLY WANT TO WATCH WICKED!!! 31st December 7pm anyone? $128 though! but please pleasepleaseeeeeeeee!! 

2011-10-18T00:16:00.001+08:00

aiyahh the previous post has very ugly fonts and formatting so i've decided to post this to push that post down hahahahahaha :D

facebook is such a 'stalkish' place now, but it's like my source of gossips too hahaha.

*

sidenote: though there's no use regretting whatsoever, i really do regret not trying out more things in the past two years. not too late to realize though i hope! on hindsight, maybe i should start by speaking up more in class and be more confident of myself! :D

2011-10-16T17:19:00.002+08:00

"Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ."

The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good, and I will Keep The Faith."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er... Yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From... God..."

That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?"

Again, the student has no answer.

"Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question, "Who created them? "

There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

"Tell me," he continues. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir. I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter."

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own.

"Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.

"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than - 458 degrees. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester.

"So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier, let me give you an example of what I mean?" The student looks around the room.

"Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"

The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

He giveth more Grace when the burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength when the labours increase.
To added affliction He added His mercy, to multiplied trials His multiplied peace.

2011-10-16T00:23:00.001+08:00

光阴的故事!! :D hahahaha some taiwan cheesy soap drama but i really love it!
i remember watching it almost everyday during A levels period !
really love the main characters (the main female lead and her boyfriend!)
didn't get to watch the ending though D:
those were the days man! <3

2011-10-11T18:45:00.000+08:00

blehhhhhhh broke my hiatus cause' i chanced upon some really meaningful quotes while doing work! (:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
- Unknown

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”
- Tom Krause

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
- Theodore Roosevelt

okay back to doing my speech draft {:

p.s. let me survive this saturday please please!!

2011-10-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

awwwwwwwww {:

meanwhile, this space is going on hiatus once again! ;D
i'm gonna live up to the name of a smugger!
wish i will succeed and ace everything! gpa 4.0 here i come!!!!

gambate! aza aza fighting! > :O

2011-10-08T21:51:00.000+08:00

“You fight your superficiality, your shallowness, so as to try to come at people without unreal expectations, without an overload of bias or hope or arrogance, as untanklike as you can be, sans cannon and machine guns and steel plating half a foot thick; you come at them unmenacingly on your own ten toes instead of tearing up the turf with your caterpillar treads, take them on with an open mind, as equals, man to man, as we used to say, and yet you never fail to get them wrong. You might as well have the brain of a tank. You get them wrong before you meet them, while you're anticipating meeting them; you get them wrong while you're with them; and then you go home to tell somebody else about the meeting and you get them all wrong again. Since the same generally goes for them with you, the whole thing is really a dazzling illusion. ... The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It's getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That's how we know we're alive: we're wrong. Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride. But if you can do that -- well, lucky you.”

*

bad mood day.

*

Verse 1:
I'm running backwards in the rain
Got my hand up for a taxi
I finally got her name
Then we slipped into the backseat

I whisper, "are you okay?"
she nods her head with feeling
I could see the pain
and I can not explain how

Chorus:
I am captivated by
the way you look tonight
and I've seen what you've been into
 So I will never cross the line
I won't tell you any lies
I was sent here for the rescue

Verse 2:
She couldn't see past his stare, when desire took them over
With a quick and simple prayer she cried, "God bring this to closure"
"I can not take this anymore and I know that what I'm waiting for
is so much bigger, so much better, get me out, please deliver"

So I'm here breaking down your door
Calling out your name
I want to take away the pain
You know I'm here like I was before
Screaming out your name
Waiting for the change

Chorus:
I am captivated by
The way you look tonight
And I've seen what you've been into

So I will never cross the line
I won't tell you any lies
I was sent here for the rescue

Choir:
Leave your burden, weak and weary, I will lead you home
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

2011-10-05T15:36:00.001+08:00

i think i have a thing about star search singers haha ;D
gonna watch friends with benefits later, hope it won't be too horny lolol O:

p.s. succumbed to whatsapp already! whatsapp me if you have it hahahaha!
p.p.s suddenly i seem to lose interest in math. ohmygoodness, please no pleaseeeeeee ): I LOVE MATH GOGOGO!!!

2011-10-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

Baby, it breaks my heart that you don’t smile anymore
I’m dying to help you heal but you won’t unlock your door
You say it takes time, but you don’t have to spend it alone

You’re stuck in the memory that you desperately to rewind
You’re too busy looking back, won’t you make another try
Now your trust is gone, but you won’t find it again on your own

So don’t go telling me it’s too late to start
You’re still holding a broken heart
But if you let me in (let me in)
Baby, you can start again (start again)

And don’t go telling me there’s no second chance
You’ll understand when you take my hand
Baby let me in (let me in)
I promise we will start again (start again)

Trying to get to you so I make this promises
I swear they are breakable, but you still just hearing hiss
I won’t let you go ’til you decided you want to be free

You’re haunted by yesterday and still sore from the fall
All you need is to whitewash this old walls
Paint something new, if you let yourself listen to me

Don’t give up yet, I won’t let you close the curtain too soon
We can reset, you can take the leap and let me show you
You just gotta make the choice.. yeah..

We love, we lose, and you think that the best defense is distance
You know, what now, put it on the mute so you can listen
But there’s a way out of here, just follow my voice

*

this is like how apt it can get, expressing my love my sam tsui <3
hahaha okay i'm joking, though i do love sam tsui he's my man hahahahahaha *fantasize*

goodness, time flies past really fast and it's recess week already!
great time to catch up with people, and work as well.
please be more disciplined,
and please brace yourself to anticipate a whole lot of mugger :D

woohoo i love mugger they are so hot yooooo <3
\O-O/

*

okay i got bored of doing project and i saw this on facebook.
haha seriously man, whats with facebook trying to be tumblr LOL.

2011-10-02T01:32:00.002+08:00

not saying that it's entirely true but this is quite funny i thought.
okay sims social sucks (alliteration)
sucking all my mugging time away ):

i'm gonna uninstall it after i witness what a woohoo looks like LMAO :D

*

a totally random collation of photos which don't quite match each other haha.
ohya, and btw i just catched a cockcroach BY MYSELF just now gosh!
i'm so proud of myself *self-pat*

2011-09-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

明知会有离别的一天，却从来不曾后悔。♥

there's just some people and some memories that i am missing especially tonight (:

2011-09-28T21:43:00.002+08:00

woah the animation is so cute hahaha！and nice songs so cute too! :D
a dedication to my dear friends, who are fighting hard with financial accounting, starting a brand new journey overseas, or getting stuck in some screwed up army unit now.

p.s. gosh aza aza fighting to myself too!

2011-09-24T18:23:00.001+08:00

in university, it's no longer who completes the work with the best quality; it's about completing the work most efficiently (minimize time spent while maximizing quality)

wle i suck at this.

2011-09-24T02:00:00.002+08:00

searched rainbow and these are what i found!

this is cool dope! hahaha i'm gonna try these out one day man, especially the hair one! :D

2011-09-22T18:44:00.000+08:00

當初是打發了無聊　他只是個目標
Oh yes, I do..do..do..I do and
怎麼越來越想要對他依靠
我怎麼　動了心
想要和他一起變老

動了心　誰動心　誰..就..輸了
他會裝傻還是逃掉
自尊雖然放得高　遇到感情都不要
做不到　做不到
那個吻我無法忘了(那個吻我忘不了)

忘也忘不了　還要裝作是玩笑
我的心情他並不明瞭
(所以我)只好笑著說　男人全都不可靠
忍住眼淚　沒有人知道(就這樣也好)

其實想要　他說　愛我到老
卻怎麼會　說成了　就這樣也好

ohnoooo I'm addicted to xingguang again!! D:

2011-09-21T14:56:00.002+08:00

Today is a happy day!!
Hehehe because i got to know a good news(:
My beloved senior got back together with her ex (:
Awww this is totally sweet <3
hehe

2011-09-19T23:21:00.001+08:00

And thus, she has decided to get her focus back.
She recalled what her friend said, that he may not be there for her forever, but He will.
And she now placed her trust in Him.

2011-09-18T18:39:00.003+08:00

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

*

wallowing in self-pity and emotions overwhelmed.

2011-09-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

And i'm regretting already.

2011-09-09T00:17:00.001+08:00

maddi jane! <3

2011-08-29T00:51:00.002+08:00

Woohoo I'm actually posting using my sis's iPod touch!! :D so exciting haha.
Anw just wanna share this really amazing quote I saw in my TEXTBOOK

"all leadership is spiritual because the leader seeks to liberate the best in people and the best is always linked to one's higher self."

Cheem hur ? (:

Hehe anw went for Bethany's 38th anniversary lunch fellowship today(:
really grateful to have the time to catch up with patience! (:

And then school starts again ._.

p.s. I miss 67 !!!!!

2011-08-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

oh what if i say i still couldn't get over some things in life?

2011-08-15T20:56:00.002+08:00

school has officially started today, and this marks the end of slacking life!
the first day in school was really queasy :/
gotta need more courage to speak up from now on! CLASS PART CLASS PART!!

meanwhile, i'm falling in love with laura story and mandy moore hehe (:

2011-07-06T13:02:00.004+08:00

hahah having some personality quiz craze suddenly and I find this really amusing!

"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."

"Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between."

"Nosy Level: 90%

You have a wild and crazy imagination, and this can lead you to being very nosy as you strive to check out whether your theories are true. You get very occupied with your own thoughts and create fantastic stories out of the things that you think are happening in people's lives. It might be a good idea to concentrate more on your own life. "

"You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help. "

HAHAHAHAHAH ALL SUPER ABSURD BUT I LIKE XD

2011-06-28T23:44:00.001+08:00

a sudden realization that i still go back to december all the time.

2011-06-26T18:13:00.003+08:00

AT LAST, the day has come hohoho!
I really can't believe that i've just spent 3 months at the Y already.
To be honest, i am not exactly very sad to leave the place (as compared to leaving Kellocks); i guess it's the environment after all. I miss Kellocks!

*

Have been going to Bethany for the past 3 weeks!
I really like my Sunday School classmates and Teacher Chen Kee hehe! (:
And just like to share something really meaningful (and not exactly religious) :

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis
it is between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway.

Let me just end off with a quote from Shannon:
"At the end of the day, he might not be there for you, but God will."

I am not exactly totally embracing this new faith of mine as yet, but I do agree with the first part of what she said.

2011-06-23T23:16:00.004+08:00

i'm falling in love with maddi jane hahahah!
kids are super adorable! with amazing voice is a bonus hahah! <3

2011-06-19T23:22:00.003+08:00

went to jonas' church this morning together with huier (:

truthfully, it was a whole new experience (despite attending GROW at the y), especially the sunday class with teacher chen kee! i think i really like her alot (:

just a food for thought :
"No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us." - John 3:23

We may be able to feel God's love for us, yet only through spreading our love to everyone and anyone can God's love for us be complete. In some sense, I think I do agree with what Ms Chen Kee said, and that does not solely applies to God's love for everyone, but also each individual's love for one another.

There is a tendency for us to be really judgemental, so much as that we actually even try to judge one person on the first sight and try to deduce one's personality(think 'Blink' by Malcom Galdwell). Yet who are we to judge others when we ourselves are not flawless?

At the end of the day, it is indeed a science versus religion thing for me. Hopefully one day I will finally rationalize whichever choice I made, not just for this per se but for everything else. (:

*

When you get to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognise the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty or looks. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart.

2011-06-15T00:24:00.006+08:00

woohoo 800th post! and i'm so gonna dedicate this to my reflections/ the aftermath of Y Camp Challenge!

*

June Y Camp Challenge 2011 has officially ended.

As this was my first camp, (and given my pretty pessimistic nature) I was really worried if I would be able to do a good job in taking care of my beneficiary, especially since I am pretty timid myself (think of all the high elements!) and being really blur like a sotong. Thankfully, Kevin (my buddy) is a really independent and bubbly person (i don't like how they termed the beneficiaries as "high functioning", lol makes them sounds like some robot thingy) and that really made my life pretty much easier, at least physcially.

Hence the greatest challenge would probably be the need to overcome my clean freak nature, and this was because Kevin has a bad habit of putting his hands in and out of his mouth frequently (and somemore he likes to touch everything and anything, especially his medicated oil, and then put his hands in his mouth). That, in my opinion, was really unhygienic and pretty scary since you would have to hold his hands and carry out activities together. Other than that, Kevin also has a 'habit' of asking people to do nitty gritty things for himself, such as holding on to something while he looks for another thing in his bag.

As the objectives of these activities are to "challenge the preconceived limits and boundaries of our special friends, instilling confidence in them and bringing their volunteer partners personal development and new perspectives", I found myself in the dilemma of whether I should be like the other volunteers to be really angelic and offer to do things for Kevin, or should I be devilish and order Kevin to do everything by himself.

And I chose the latter.

In retrospect, especially after talking to Jonas yesterday (lol today is already 6 July already), perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps I was really too harsh on Kevin; and I didn't think so because obviously I wasn't able to stand in his shoes and consider things in his point of view.

*

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can. Hate cannot drive out hatred; only love can."

2011-06-06T23:42:00.004+08:00

gosh i'm turning psychopathically psychopathic lol ):

and my life would suck without my friends and you.

*

disclaimer: i am not a christian (at least for now and in the near future), but just thought that some of these words from the Gospels make absolute sense and thus decided to share.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ~ Galatians 6:9

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~ Hebrews 11:1

2011-06-03T16:25:00.002+08:00

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

All over again
All over again
And I swear it all over again ♥

*

you know that you are really in love with someone,
when you can't stop checking his or her facebook for updates.
and you know that it hurts when he or she comments on everything but your wall or post.

2011-06-03T11:53:00.005+08:00

sorry if the following post is too cheena for you, but i really think it is pretty cool in some way, so there you go! (:

重温五月天的老歌，听到了《而我知道》，听到了结尾时阿信自嘲似的喃喃自语：我一直以为，我爱的是17岁的她，现在我才明白，我爱上的是17岁的我自己。

阿信是真的很在意17岁呢，很多歌里都提到了17岁，也许真的是只有那个时候的爱情才是真正纯真的吧。

以前听这句话的时候我真的没有感觉，可是今天却突然明白了阿信说这句话的心情：没有后悔，没有恨意，有的只是深深的无奈。

然后听到了突然好想你，听着陈信宏悲伤而又激动地唱着：为什么你带我走过最难忘的旅行，然后留下最痛的纪念品，我们那么甜、那么美、那么相信、那么疯、那么热烈的曾经，为何我们，还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去。

真的为什么呢。曾经梁静茹在演唱会跟阿信合唱《志明与春娇》的时候，眼睛一直瞟着玛莎，连阿信都看出来了。

曾经刘烨说：我这辈子最幸福的事就是娶谢娜，只要她愿意，我就可以马上娶她。

曾经紫霞说他很至尊宝是天赐的姻缘，是不可能分开的。

可是，结果呢。梁静茹很幸福地跟别人结婚了，玛莎在那天一个人去了法国。

刘烨在结婚前把自己关在房间了哭了一个晚上。

至尊宝在带上金箍前，终于知道自己喜欢紫霞，说出了那句经典的台词：曾经有一份真诚的爱情放在我面前，我没有珍惜，等我失去的时候我才后悔莫及，人世间最痛苦的事莫过于此。如果上天能够给我一个再来一次的机会，我会对那个女孩子说三个字：我爱你。如果非要在这份爱上加上一个期限，我希望是……一万年。然后眼睁睁这看着紫霞死在自己面前，消失在尘埃中。

再不舍得以前又怎么样，再不想分开又能怎么样，你再难过悲伤又能怎样，逝去的感情就能回来了吗?有多少人就这么轻易的分开了，因为一些再也弥补不了的裂痕，因为不再有着热恋时的激情。

有多少让人羡慕嫉妒的情侣们就这样败给了距离，败给了时间，败给了哪怕只是一次争吵，一点点的误解。

不是说好要互相信任对方的吗，不是说好将来要结婚的吗，不是说好一辈子不分开的吗，什么爱她一辈子，什么就算全世界反对也要在一起，什么永远不会变心。都是热恋中的人说的屁话，感情淡化后就把这些话抛到耳后。

只有热恋中的人才觉得他们的相遇不是偶然，只有热恋中的人会相信对方说的誓言。可是感情淡了之后呢，别跟我说感情一辈子都不会淡之类的废话。所有的爱情，燃烧过后都只能成灰。

其实很多时候，我们好像很爱一个人，那只是我们自己的事，就像一出独角戏。到最后，真正感动的，不过是我们自己。那个时候因为他开心而开心，因为他不开心而不开心，因为他五分钟没回你短信而焦躁不安。

当我们想起这些的时候，其实真正怀念的不是那个他，而是自己付出的那份感情。

可是，我们这么拼命维系的感情最后的结果呢？我们还是分开了，感情还是淡化了。

我们不是活在童话世界里面，哪有那么多所谓的至死不渝的爱情。有的时候爱情就因为一点看起来荒谬的裂痕分开了。不是么。

爱其实就像打计程车。第一，不像公共汽车，只需等待就会自动来到你的面前，而需要你先向它招手才停；

第二，如果你碰到的是空车，那就是你的幸运，但往往车上已经有人了。这时你只能搭便车，只有先到的乘客下了车后，才能去你想去的地方；

第三，走了多少距离就要付出多少代价。你越是维系到时候就越是难过。

我也明白那种明明还喜欢着却还是不得不选择放手的心情，我想用五月天的歌词来说明再适合不过了：而我知道真爱不一定能白头到老，而我知道有一天你可能就这么走掉，而我知道我知道这一切我全都知道，我就是受不了，而我知道我们曾天真的一起哭和笑，而我知道放开手但不知道怎么忘掉，而我知道你走了以后的每一分一秒却还是这么难熬。

对于那份感情，既然已经不能再拥有，你唯一可以做的，就是让自己不要忘记。然后告诉自己，回忆就足够了

不知不觉我们已走到了2010年

云淡风轻的午后突然想起遥远的童年

看到你我现在的改变不太像旧照片上那些纯真的笑脸

小时候我们哭了也不算是受伤哭完后依然可以笑得很开朗

小时候的寂寞是独自走过漆黑走廊灯再亮起时心情依然会很熙攘

小时候的爱情像某晚的月光轻轻易易就被时光掩藏

我不奢望自己忘记你，只要能让我放的下你

我难过，只是难过不能陪你一起到老

随着日子一天天的过去，心不仅麻木也开始眷恋了。
life do go on as per normal, 只是在没人的时候总是会不自觉地开始回忆着。

okay let's get ready for photo spam hahaha!

2011-06-02T10:55:00.002+08:00

hello world,

i am ashamed for being so materialistic, but the sight of consumer goods really just thrills me! especially this period of the great singapore sales! ): oh how i wish one day i could escape this secular world and stop being so materialistic! hahahahaha by then i should have attained nirvana already man. (Y)

p.s. gosh i think i am really falling for ... ):

with love,
xinyan xoxo

2011-05-31T23:12:00.002+08:00

and it just ended like this (:
the struggle for the past 2 months or so.

suddenly things kind of became much clearer for me.
now it's all about convincing myself that it is the right choice
and time to get my engine started for the SMUGGER lifez! :D

on a sidenote, today marks the official end of a journey together with all the first batch of interns. which makes me pretty sad actually. but oh wells, life goes on (:
we will definitely still meet up, i believe and hope so (:

2011-05-30T14:28:00.001+08:00

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the sweet tooth and I can be the dentist

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

*

awwwwww. such a cute and sweet song hahaha(:

2011-05-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

gosh, my worst nightmare happened D:
no guoxinyan, no you can't okay?
don't even think about it! ):

2011-05-24T23:26:00.004+08:00

this post is gonna sound really hilarious and epic but i don't care hehe (:
disclaimer: everything that's gonna be posted is NOT true. okay partially true, mostly exaggerated or false.

time flies, it's been almost two months since I've joined Y.
i remembered the first day it was pretty awkward for me to settle in, because I was sitting at the other side of the office, away from all the rest of the interns (other than jonathan haha but so sad we didnt talk cause' i used to think he's quite hostile xD) and i didnt join them for the first day's lunch. oh yes and they were all pretty angmor-ish and MARK ONG despises cheena people hahahahahahhaahahaha. will never forget mark's greeting question to me lolol ._.

anyway, nat and weeteck, followed by leanne and jonathan and mark all left one by one, leaving just me and jonas alone for lunch breaks, which was pretty awkward cause 2 people really have like nothing much to chat about for 1hour plus D: luckily xuehui and the other interns started to come in one by one hahahaha. (oh yes, fyi: jonas is the only cute guy in my office hahaha. i think everyone else in the office agrees too xD and yeah he has been my eye candy since the first day (Y) THOUGH HE IS DAMN RETARDED AND SOMEONE COMMENTED THAT HE LOVES TO UNBUTTON ONE MORE BUTTON OF HIS SHIRT LOL TO LOOK MORE SEXY? xD HAHAHAAHAHAHHA)

actually tbh out of all the interns, i probably feel closer to the first batch of us (mark nat jonas leanne jonathan and weeteck omg i forgot about him lol) because of the way we think is more similar in a sense that we all came from JC (and in fact, all good JCs i would say) so we can better relate to one another, despite the much shorter time we had with one another (excluding jonas) (:

for the second batch, i feel more at ease with them hahahaha cause dont need to worry that i will accidentally spill out a chinese word (no mark around) ! and yeah it was kinda more carefree hahahaa though some of the things they say i can't exactly agree with hmm idk. but nonetheless, pretty interesting people hahaha especially yiyun and xuehui!

okayyy back to the main point, i think i wanted to talk about jonas more HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cause he's leaving ): why talk about him? haha cause he's my eye candy? NOOOOOOOOO. HAHA. cause to be honest, i think he is one of the nicest people out of all of us and also the one that interacted with for the longest period of time so yeah. (lol okay suddenly feel so awkward throwing all the good adjectives, but yeah) he is really caring and sensible and matured, THOUGH he has his playful and cheeky sides LOL (which when unleashed, is the most lame and retarded amongst us all~) SO PEOPLE GOING TO NUS CHEM ENG, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE K HAHAHAHA NICE AND CUTE GUY FOR GRAB ! :P

ohmannnnnn can't believe he's leaving so soon!! in some sense i'm sad because there's no more eye candy and korkor for me to look at/look up to ): but more importantly, no one to entertain us all with his epic and exaggerated stories and acting skills (Y) ):

how i wish time stops in april when everyone was still around ):

2011-05-18T18:29:00.006+08:00

if only life is like buying the pick-and-mix candies.
you get to choose only what you like.

2011-05-13T01:13:00.000+08:00

because we are all borned in a special way,
which makes us all unique i guess(:

p.s. though i believe in working even harder to make things happen, i'm grateful for the things that were given to me.

2011-05-07T01:52:00.001+08:00

没有好感再尝试也没有用大多数人都相同
喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔

2011-05-03T12:36:00.002+08:00

爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角

能愿意为了一份爱富出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
爱虽然很美妙却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼

don't fall in love for the sake of falling in love.
因为到头来只会两败俱伤。

2011-04-30T14:21:00.003+08:00

*

GE FEVER! :D
it's so amazing how 2 years ago i was just doing my pi on politically apathetic singaporean youths, and now i am (and many of my friends as well) discussing so much about ge every day ! but well, to be fair, i still think singaporean youths are still apolitical to a large extent hahaha. i guess it's just because this time round, the election would probably be a watershed event (thanks to the power of new media) and because i (or we) seem to have more time as we are 'freed' from academics burden and thus have more time to follow up on things. not saying that it's a bad thing, it's good! :D

"but anw im still kinda 'doubting' how we singaporean judge the politicians. it's like how we keep critisizing those who are in power alr because we SAW what they have done (which do not please us lol i.e. mahbt DAMN SAD but too bad he got kiampa face haha)

some of the opposition candidates might SEEM to be damn good but the thing is we don't know how good they are actually? that is because we have not SEEN them do the work before (okay but having said that, i dont mean we should all not vote opposition haha, but not to just vote for the sake of 'protesting' or to oppose blindly lor)"

on hindsight, allow me to rephrase what i've said hahaha (and sorry for all the shortforms and singlish)

I personally believe that we should only vote for those who we can really trust, or at least the 'side' (personally i don't like the idea of party versus party cause it's bullshit imo, given that there are good AND BAD candidates on both sides and it is sad that we cannot have all the good ones just because he or she comes from a different party) with better candidates. Of course, the term 'better' is up to one's definition, which will thus affect the vote one casts.

There has been uproars about opposition winning our PAP in several districts, and the one that stirred the most excitment would probably be the Aljunied GRC, for such obvious reasons. I'm not gonan judge or explicitly state my stand, but I just feel that this is such a bad dilemma for the people, and (quoting from a fb comment) it's a lose-lose situation either way. (and this is another reason why i think the party system is really shit imo)

The manifesto of many oppositions have been along the line of:
Vote us in! Let there be more opposition because more oppositions = more voices in parliament = more representation of you = life will be much better.
But the catch is, more voice is not necessarily better if these are not constructive voices.
oh and let's not forget the usual: where is our money! where is our upgrading etc etc! quotes "our dear ministers earn 15k but where is our money!"
Then again, dear opposition, you do realise that if we elect you in, you will get 15k too. perhaps we will start questioning you where did our money go?

So vote wisely people! Like I've said, vote for the one who has the CAPABILITY and you think can TRULY represent you. The past few years we have been seeing the ruling party in action, and that can be a gauge for you. You may not think they have done well in certain aspects, but that doesn't mean the opposition is automatically better just because the ruling party does not achieve excellence in certain aspects. The opposition may very well be unable to do a better job, or even reach the same standard, than the ruling party. But having said that, I do think that some opposition CANDIDATES are of equal, if not better, calibre than the ruling party's CANDIDATES, and they do deserve a chance to join the parliament to serve. So vote wisely people!

*

hmmmm i have no comments about huangcheng this year.
but disappointing much.

2011-04-29T00:28:00.002+08:00

hello peeps!

thanks for all the concerns, i'm really fine(:
not denying the fact that i am disappointed, but well, at least it's all over right now! moving on, people, moving on (:

and lessons learnt.

2011-04-19T23:01:00.001+08:00

for that one last time, that one last try.

Jesus take the wheel, cause' I can't do it on my own.
Save me from this road I'm on, Jesus take the wheel.

2011-04-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

轻轻的我走了
正如我轻轻的来
我轻轻地招手
作别西天的云彩

那河畔的金柳
是夕阳中的新娘
波光里的艳影
在我心头荡漾

寻梦撑一支一支长篙
向青草更青处漫溯
满载一船一船星辉
在星辉斑斓里放歌

软泥上的青荇
油油的在水底招摇
在康河的柔波里
我甘心做一条水草

那榆阴下的一潭
不是清泉是天上虹
揉碎在浮藻间
沉淀着彩虹似的梦

但我不能不能放歌
悄悄是别离的笙箫
夏虫也为我为我沉默
沉默是今晚的康桥

悄悄的我走了走了
正如我悄悄的来
我挥一挥衣袖衣袖
不带走一片云彩

i have kind of made up my mind after talking to huijuan today.
i don't know whether i will regret my decision 10years down the road, but for now, i am pretty confident of it. well, all great decisions are accompanied by great risks isn't it? (:

2011-04-17T23:41:00.003+08:00

i need to blog tonight because things are getting so overwhelming im gonna go berserk anytime soon ! >:

many things had happened in the past month, good and bad but mostly bad. can't believe that it's been only a month plus since we've gotten back our results because everything seems so.. foreign and distant. many choices and decisions had been made, many actions taken, many words spoken. or maybe not; there are still things that are untold and you will probably never know.

- interrupted by msn -

damn i forgot what i wanted to say._.

2011-04-17T00:50:00.003+08:00

not exactly in the best mood to blog talk or whatever right now cause today was a really long day for me and i am really tired now. many things happened, good and bad, but thankfully things didnt turn out as bad as i thought? HOPEFULLY MAN. i mean i still cant exactly read what people thinks but from the look of it i guess it was.. fine. probably not fantastic, other than the turn up rate, but ohwells. (: to those whom i pms-ed to, i apologize for being pissed off or whatsoever. but then again, i have my reasons to be so (which i shant disclose) but yeah i should have been more.. tolerant? o.O kk shant talk anymore, because as the saying goes, the more you talk the more wrong things you will say. pardon my super weird and nonsense english my brain is seriously freaking tired alr so bye world good night.

p.s. tomorrow will be a joke again yay ! :D

*

过去的就让他辗转过去不要一味回顾，
收拾起我们破碎的心情不再停下脚步，
让我们试着开拓新旅程 ~

i never knew college songs can have dual meanings. if you see what i see too.

2011-04-11T23:38:00.004+08:00

HEY THERE ! I AM GOOD ! I AM AWESOME ! I AM SERIOUSLY MARVELOUS! :D teehee i am trying to beat away all those negative feelings, trash it all down the drain man! on the brighter side, free cone day tomorrow (:

2011-04-10T10:30:00.005+08:00

christina is really awesome man, so is this song (:

Stones heavy like the love you've shown
Solid as the ground we've known
And I just wanna carry on We took it from the bottom up
And even in a desert storm
Sturdy as a rock we hold
Wishing every moment froze
Now i just wanna let you know
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Pyramid, we've built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top (at the top baby) like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowin
We'll never fall just keep on goin
Forever we will stay like a pyramid
Like a pyramid, like a pyramid hey

Cold never ever when you're close
We will never let it fall
A story that was never told
Something like a mystery
And every step we've took we grown
Look how fast the time has flown
A journey to the place unknown
We're going down in history
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Like a pyramid girl I'll show you
That I love you so much that we're gonna get through
Even when it storms I will never go
I'll be the one to keep you safe
Before was a love I care more than enough
Holding on to one another be the cover when it's rough
Mother Nature, or disaster won't stop our happy ever after
Forever we will stay like a pyramid

*

It sucks when that one person who meant so much to you suddenly drifts away. That one person who knew every single little detail about you is suddenly a stranger. You no longer look forward to those daily conversations you used to have because you know they won’t happen anymore. You have nothing left but memories. They say we don’t know what we have until we lose it. Well maybe we knew what we had. We just never thought we would lose it. You feel empty and missing. It’s like they took a part of you and ran away with it.

and there you went, and i teared again. oh i'm such a loser without you.

2011-04-07T23:39:00.003+08:00

this is my 777th post. favourite number x3, so i thought i should post something really meaning, or wait till some mega events happened. yet i chanced by this video(which i will show later), credits to linzhen, and i immediately thought of sharing this with everyone.

i think i've been so deeply influenced by my good friend that now i've became his spokesman of his ideas, which i do concur with actually. well, think about your life. Give yourself a couple of minutes to just think about life, what you feel about your life thus far.

Complaints? Miserable? Sufferings? Heartbreaks? Disappointed? Life sucks?
Think that life is unfair?

Honestly, ask yourself if you have ever came across such thoughts.

I am guilty myself. I like to compare with people who are better than me. I like to inflict self-worthlessness to make myself feel disappointed, convince myself that life is unfair and life sucks, and then just suck thumb and live with it.

But is that the 'whole' truth? True enough, we may not be the best; but we are not the worst, definitely. With that, I urge you to watch the short video below.

this may be a propaganda (sorry but society somehow made me more skeptical and critical lol), but there are definitely elements of truth in it. (this is the humanitarian and empathatic side of me i guess haha) So let us rethink about our lives. What differentiate us from the kids featured in the video then? Simply put, they live with what they have and treasure it, while we take things for granted and tend to ask for more.

But the thing is, what if these kids are perfectly fine? No illness no diseases, perfectly healthy? Will they still keep this same mentality? Probably not. In my opinion, it is somewhat human's nature to take things for granted. 失去了才学会珍惜。isn't it like this ALL the time? (think about your life again.)

okay i digressed lol, sorry for being so so so skeptical ): my initial intention was to promote positive attitudes towards life, but probably it failed lol. so maybe i shall leave you guys with some photos/quotes (: pretty pretty ones hahaha. lol this is such a bad conclusion hahaha xD

dedication to all my friends (:

find that passion that you hold onto, and live for it, because passion is really what drives you on in life.

my favourite quote of the week (: super true to me hahaha okay maybe it kinda just relate better to me because i am really pretty judgement, which is really bad lol.

Happiness is like balloons, all colourful and pretty and add vibrant and joy into our lives. Yet, they may be temporary. Afterall, they are tangibles and they can burst and disappear anytime. Hence, try searching deeper into your souls. Imprint the images of happiness in your heart. Let it become something intangible, something you can hold on to even if the beautiful tangible balloons in real life slip through your hands. ♥

2011-04-01T00:18:00.004+08:00

I AM ATTACHED! ♥

hahaha just kidding, happy april fools' everyone! ;D life is so stressed up, we all need a lil' break sometimes hehe(:

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

But, I never thought I'd live to see it break

2011-03-30T22:03:00.001+08:00

當回憶放得下一整座隱蔽的樂園
那常是過往的人一個心願
顏色迷幻得令我忘情只顧去探險
越放手越讓你越遙遠

究竟幸福還在還是你走得不明顯
只能憑直覺將那一天重建
直到看夜空出現漩渦雲層和雨點
才明白暴風雨已預演

秘密花園是第一現場
你藏了鑰匙困在裡頭療傷
可以笑我瘋狂備好手掌
擦干你淚濕臉龐
無論你原不原諒（不多想）

怪我太木訥看不透你起霧的雙眼
猜你會在哪裡看橘色的天
直到能察覺同樣的風撫過我的臉
就是我在乎你的誓言

是拳頭拆不去的無形大海
你給得應該我等是活該
可我只要你回來

everyone needs a secret garden of our own(:

*

edited: http://blog.omy.sg/xiaohan/2011/01/29/
i really really like xiao han alot <3

be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind(:

2011-03-28T18:33:00.001+08:00

it's just another tumblr day,
or probably a little different.

2011-03-27T22:20:00.002+08:00

i hope tomorrow will be a beautiful day.
i hope i can pull through it.

gambate aza aza fighting!

2011-03-24T21:57:00.003+08:00

i am. so. gonna. die. soon.

damn ):

*

kay i am a little better now i guess, after talking to liying on the phone!
anyway, sharing something from her tumblr which i thought was pretty cool!

*btw the picture is supposed to be a gif. click on it to view it (for it to work)

HMMMM.
in my opinion, people love to use lyrics and pictures to use as their display pictures and statuses, to reflect their current state of emotion/thinking or whatnot. and the strange thing is, people also love to deny this fact and simply lay back on the fact that "no la, it is just my favourite song's lyrics" or "nice picture from tumblr mah!" hahahahaha, right. that being said, i don't deny that i had been (or probably still am) a victim of such action haha. there is nothing exactly wrong with it actually. in fact, it's good! cause' you are plainly 'shouting' to the whole world about what you are actually feeling now ! :D
great for interpersonal relationship and stalking purposes hahaha.

disclaimer: no the picture posted up there does not reflect my current state of emotion lol._. it probably did last time but not now hahaha. *winks*

good night everyone(:

physics is beautiful

2011-03-24T00:50:00.005+08:00

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA THIS IS GOING TO SOUND REALLY UBSURD !

I used to hate physics alot, really really alot because I complain that I can't 'see' how things are actually happening. Okay, not that I can now, I think ._.
But after a hearty discussion (more of sharing) with my sister, who happens to be a physicist, I start to be awed at all the physics theory and such! I mean, the whole theory of relativity, the whole set of newton laws that we learnt for our secondary school life and the theory of quantum mechanism, and how all these actually make senses on its own but probably can't really connect and yet seems to complement each other in trying to explain the whole universe... Coolios!

I am no physicist for sure, because to think of doing physics sum all over again is quite a crazy and unimaginable idea, and till now, I guess I still can't 'see' it. But I am truly intrigued by the whole physics concept, or probably moved by the determination and courage of physicists (or any scientist for that matter) to look into fields that were unexplored and probably may never have a solution to. Once again, I'm utterly impressed by the beauty of physics; or maybe it's just because my sister is a wonderful speaker haha. (:

*BTW i changed all the "physicians" to "physicists" already hahaha so embarrassing! :>
somehow 'physicians' looks more CORRECT hahahaha. shit sorry ah, my english really sucks i spell words based on my intuition :D

2011-03-23T14:42:00.003+08:00

didnt wanted to post this initially (Cause' i wanna keep my beautiful previous post on eat pray love on top of everything for a longer time) BUT this is far more important and this is really intriguing!!

just watched BEAUTIFUL MIND featuring John Nash, and i guess the reason why i wanted to watch it is because of Game Theory (or more precisely, because Prof Wintson Koh once told us about this film and by the way, this is probably one of the only things I could remember him telling us) So there I went on to happily watched the movie, thinking that it would probably be yet another documentary like movie,(well actually, it is) smooth sailing and just rambling about all the great works and ideas of Nash. And when I thought everything was real and was deeply amazed by what he had done and contributed, BOOOM! Suddenly everything just disappeared, not literally but, mental-physically *if there's such a word* .

Turned out that Nash had been suffering from some kind of schizophrenia that made him hallucinate even since his Princeton life, which incidentally was the days when he somewhat proved Adam Smith's dictum of "Individual ambitions serve the common good in competition" wrong, and came up with the powerful concept of Nash Equalibrium/ Game Theory, which contends that "The best for the group comes when everyone in the group does what's best for himself AND the group." Woah. Who could have thought of that at that point of time?

Well but the one thing about him is, he always believes that he will be able to do something unique, something original - like a breakthrough or something, and he did it. Not just in the field of Mathematics, but in his personal life I guess, the part about his mental illness and how he managed to overcome that (though probably in real life the whole process was not as easy or difficult, i can't decide because there are various sources that reported differently, as "portrayed in the movie)

Just to share one quote from the movie that really struck me, and no it's not exactly a Mathematics or Economics concept.

I’ve always believed in numbers, in equations and logic that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuit, I ask, what truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me through the physical and metaphysical, the delusional and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logical reasons can be found. I’m only here tonight because of you. You are all the reason I have. You are all my reasons. “

– fictional speech of John Nash (played by Russel Crowe) from the movie “A Beautiful Mind”, 2001. Take note though that this acceptance speech is fictional. I read that laureates (or winners) of Nobel Prize are not required to give acceptance speeches, but rather are asked to do a one-hour lecture (which in true life, unfortunately, Dr. Nash was not required to do so because of his mental condition).

and anyway, just like to share what i found on the net while trying to search for that fictional acceptance speech, which somehow expressed my exact sentiments.

I have watched A Beautiful Mind for the first time today and I found myself crying at the end of the movie. Not because of John Nash and his schizo craziness… not because of some heart-warming and touching events in the lives of the Nash household, but because of the fictional Nobel Prize acceptance speech that Russel Crowe (John Nash), did in the movie. Funny because everytime I watch a true-story movie, halfway through the movie, I would always do some research about the real-life events, which is what I eventually did. I downloaded the dissertation paper of John Nash from www.princeton.edu and read about the 27-page paper about the Nash Game Theory that ultimately gave John Nash his doctorate and tremendous fame and recognition in the Mathematics and Economics sphere. Anywho, I got super engrossed trying to understand the math genuis behind his work and trying to squeeze every ounce of logic that I have in my tiny brain. Then I got to the end of the movie which is the acceptance speech of John Nash to the 1994 Nobel Prize for Economics. The speech is beautiful (though fictional) and I realized that the Nash Theory is very simple so far. And this is what really makes us move forward to do great things.

But wait.

There is one other quote, though fictional too, that I thought was really meaningful and it came from the mouth of Charlie Herman, who was, sadly a 'hallucinated person' and imagination of Nash.

"Nothing's for sure in the world, and that's the only sure thing I do know."

Simple truth that probably all of us will know and agree to. But how many of us actually apply it to our lives? Think about it. Rethink about your own life. All the mugging years that you have went through, memorizing and 'adhering' to some concept that seemingly makes sense but might not have been proved. Or for that matter, how do you know that something had been PROVED for sure? If so, why is it that Einstein's theory of relativity, something that we were all awed and was proven to be correct for a pretty long period of time, has been proved wrong?

I cannot prove to you that the statement Herman made is true (and afterall, it was just a line made up by scriptwriters for a Hollywood movie). But I would like to leave you with that, and another conversation between the fictional Nash and his wife, which I thought was pretty witty.

Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.
Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.
*pause*
Alicia: How big is the universe?
Nash: Infinite.
Alicia: How do you know?
Nash: I know because all the data indicates it's infinite.
Alicia: But it hasn't been proven yet.
Nash: No.
Alicia: You haven't seen it.
Nash: No.
Alicia: How do you know for sure?
Nash: I don't, I just believe it.
Alicia: It's the same with love I guess.

p.s. For all those students out there, a pretty interesting quote to share that I hope would inspire you to think more.. creatively.

"Classes will dull your mind, destroy the potential for authentic creativity. "

2011-03-22T22:41:00.006+08:00

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

"When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced
life."

"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."

"Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions."

"We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure--your perfection--is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart."

"Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

watched eat pray love today finally(:
and just wanted to share some meaningful (and probably useful quotes)
*for more: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/11679.Elizabeth_Gilbert

pretty love the first quote, and i guess i'm glad that i have some soul mates.
maybe not to the extent of shaking and smashing me all up,
but i guess, frank and honest at least, and i pretty much appreciate that(:
thank you, my soul mates out there!

p.s. i really want to travel around the world too, to find back that self which i probably had lost since forever.

*

just to add on:

maybe the world needs a little bit more prayer, for a better world.

2011-03-21T17:30:00.002+08:00

"State your aspiration and goals in life and how you plan to achieve them."

My goal in life is to be able to enjoy life, such as travelling around the world, trying all types of cuisines, attending all kind of networking sessions to know more people and many many activities that I've yet to know of at my current level of knowledge. Incidentally, this translates to being a "taitai" in colloquial term. So how do I plan to achieve this unique goal of mine? Hunt, hunt, hunt! Many of my friends share the same sentiments that it is probably time to hunt for potential rich hunks in college and list them as possible husband candidates! Sounds pretty cool hur? I think so too!

LMAO (:
crazy things crazy thoughts that entertain yourself at times to keep yourself more sane <3

2011-03-20T00:41:00.004+08:00

.uoy esol ot reab t’nac I dna ylraed os uoy evol I, dneirf esuaceb, lautum si gnileef siht hsiw I who dna uoy ssim I hucm woh uoy llet ot hisw tusj I siht ees ot neppah ouy fi dneirf olleh

*

the post above is in french okay HAHAHAHA. just kidding.
anyway i have things to dig out from my friend!! i demand the truth hohoho.
somehow i have this naggy feeling that my good friend is in love with another good friend :D:D yay matchmaking ftw :D
lol i think doing essays has turned me nuts/nuttier ._.
but it's kay :D

*

p.s. how genuine are you exactly whenever you use the word "genuine" ?
p.p.s noh ssiw !

2011-03-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

why do people like to put on a strong front?
because at this moment, i can't do it any longer.
oh i'm feeling so sick, oh i'm gonna falter!
tragic, tragic, tragic!
*and she is dead, not physically but mentally because she lost control of her own mind and soul*

morale of the story: don't gei kiang.

2011-03-17T12:24:00.004+08:00

yeah i'm like transforming my blog into some youtube playlist man ._.
and i think i'm gonna fall in love with bruno mars hohoho his voice is :D:D:D
meanwhile, justin bieber is just... okay my friend says he is really handsome now, no comments._. can't believe he's with selena gomez lol. and i thought taylor lautner broke up with swift to be with her again?! damnn stupid lautner (though you have damn hot bod) i'm definitely gonna join the cullen team for breaking dawn pfft! D<

lol this post is damn fan girl :D
meanwhile, i guess 10.30pm has become my favouritest time in a day now. k random :D

*

How to deal with examinations the way the school has not taught you
by Julian Tee

My peers have often dubbed me either as a closet mugger (their excuse for my apparent lack of hard work) or a talent (a more favourable, imo, excuse for my lack of hard work, but both of which are untrue) and thus for want of a more representative reputation, karma, charm, polygamy, dotaskillz, and whatever else good in the world, I will disclose my secrets to success.

Edison came up with some rather uninspiring banter on 99% perspiration 1% inspiration. He dropped out of high school, so evidently something must have been missing from his equation. What is it?

Two things actually: karma and luck.

On my birthday last year I received some sage advice regarding the three rules to karma: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=441705718196 Consequently I did my best to farm karma before during and after the A levels period, including wishing people good luck, pretending to comfort haidee/tzehan, kicking willie's chair, and other good things.

On luck, a couple of experts share their findings and calculations in the following links:
http://www.dotastrategy.com/forum/ftopic18287.html
http://www.playdota.com/forums/7993/article-pseudo-random-distribution/

Instead of there being a 20% chance to Critical Strike with every attack, the first attack made actually has a 5.57% chance to Critical Strike. If that is not a Critical Strike, then the second attack has a 11.14% chance to Critical. If that is also not a Critical Strike, then the third has a 16.71% chance to Critical, and so on, adding 5.57% for each consecutive non-Critical. When a Critical Strike does occur, however, the chance for the next attack resets to 5.57%. In the long run, the number of Critical Strikes divided by the total number of attacks somewhat approximates the stated 20%, but now it is extremely difficult to have a series of Critical Strikes, and also impossible to go more than 17 attacks without a Critical, because the percentage for the 18th attack (assuming 17 previous consecutive non-Critical attacks) is 100.26%. In effect, the game causes the number of attacks between Criticals to be skewed towards 1 / 20% = 5, with a maximum limit of 17

Similarly, if your chance of getting an A is 20%, you simply have to not get As 17 times in a row, and then you're assured what you want. Sure, it might take a while, but it's a worthy investment. Everyone understands this logic anyway, so I will not dwell on it, but if you're ignorant you should check out the two links provided. These have gone through intensive and extensive calculations and analysis.

Moving on, efficiency is also important to one's time management.

Efficiency = Output/Input

Sources: wiki.answers.com, answers.yahoo.com, radicalelectronics.com, fieldlines.com, ideas.repec.com, wikipedia.org, proinno-europe.eu, authorsden.com, citycollegiate.com or whatever top 10 results google gave you

Understanding this is critical to understanding the Principle of Infinite Efficiency (PIE).
Given that Efficiency = Output/Input, if Input can be assigned an integer value of 0, it follows that Efficiency attains a value of infinity. Thus a man who appears to be lazy and procrastinates urgent matters is in fact, a truly knowledgable man who was conferred the wisdom of this principle. This is not my invention, but teachings from our predecessors, supported by a wise saying: The cake is a lie, but not the pie.

Motivation is also important. In general, there are 4 kinds of students:

"I love doing homework!" - Good for you.
"I don't feel like doing homework" - You are a retard, delete your dota and start mugging.
"I think homework is useless" - No one cares what you think.
"I know homework is useless" - Welcome to the league. Reinstall your dota.

You may ask, what do I do, now that I know homework is useless? Short answer is, we don't know either. Here are a few suggestions (some activities only applicable to smtp room):

1. Start with sleeping. Yeah I know you just woke up, but wake up earlier than you should, and tell your parents you are going to school to study. Catch up on your sleep in school.

2. Continue sleeping. The first time you wake up, you'll probably see your friends who have come late. But they'll still be sleeping, so you might as well have team spirit and join them.

3. Play music. Now that you guys are awake, get the closest guy to the speakers to plug in the mp3.
*Exceptions apply. If you would like to improve your gp or chase other people out of the room, tune in to BBC World Service. If the closest guy is fat, you may have to do it for him.

4. BBoy battle. They say exercise in the morning is good to keep you active and awake for the rest of the day. Now that you have music playing, you might as well use it, and nothing beats having a bboy battle, even if you suck at it (I don't suck at it, true story)

5. Lunch. You're either hungry after pulling off those dance moves or you miss the golden rooster auntie. Either way, make your way to Coronation Plaza.

6. Buy more food. You'll be walking past NTUC, 7-eleven, and SPC.
NTUC good deals: Maggi Mee + Aluminium Tray (if you want to cook noodles in school), canned peanuts, tuna spread, kimchi
SPC good deals: 2 green/apple/passionfruit tea for 3 dollars
7-eleven: There are no good deals in 7-eleven.

7. Picnic. Duh, you bought food. Board games (Quoridor, Quixo, Pylos) go well (subject to availability).

8. BBall. You need to exercise again after all that food. 5pm to 7pm is a good time to play ball. No later than 7, or no more food at golden rooster.

9. You guessed it, golden rooster. What a talent you are.

10. Study. Now that you are fully warmed up, you can start studying. Usual starting times are 8pm, or 10pm (in the case of a HTHT session)

11. Go home. Usually at 10pm, even if you had a HTHT sesssion.

Yeah that's from my experience. You ask, how do I do "10. Study."? Your description kinda sucked.

Here is where I actually try to help lol.
For Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics, practice does help. But don't do homework for the sake of doing it. If you can do a question rather comfortably, just skip it, there's no value in doing it. Doing work is not for a morale boost. Get a study group, not one where everyone plugs in their earpieces, but really, help each other with the work. What's important is not doing as much work as possible, but in learning as much as you can from your work. It's way easier to do this in a group than alone. If you work alone, you lose motivation when you don't progress (or feel you have not progress) and either do useless things to make yourself feel better or get distracted. But as a group you can learn much much faster (provided your friends are not retarded). That explains why we study 2 hours a day.
After you're done with the practice, make notes. The next step for the sciences after you can comfortably answer half the questions you see is to know your stuff like the back of your hand. Revise A SHIT LOAD. Not just by memorising but by understanding what you are thought. Learn to derive your physics and mathematics formulas. Understand chemical explanations logically such that when you encounter situations you need them, your brain can do it without memory work. When you make notes, you get to revise and have a set of material you are familar with for reference. As you use it more, you notice more and more bits are unnecessary because you know them so well. By A-levels, I could finish a revision for either of the sciences in 15 minutes.
Discuss, and ask a lot of shit between yourselves. Humans were born to talk, and imo, humans learn best from each other. It makes you think, and can provide you fresh perspectives to organise your thoughts better (I assume you can think, even though school is pretty mindnumbing)

If you read this till here, you are truly wasting too much time on facebook.

For Econs and GP, I believe I was truly lucky. Since I'm kinda lazy, I prepared for As by copying essays and mugging answer sheets. Yeah, mugging answers work for me. The reason why they give you so much practice is to prepare you for exams. Why do they insist on getting you to practice instead of just mugging answers?
1. To appear as if there's value in education.
2. To make the teachers work, marking your stuff.
3. Because everyone does it this way.

In terms of success though, your options are ranked in this manner:
1. Mug answers
2. Play DotA
3. Practice
again, imho. econs question come in the form of "spit out all you know on _____" anyway. some tricky questions maybe, so make sure you understand questions properly for both econs and gp and you'll be fine.

What's important though, is to get adequate rest. When you're in school, and you feel like sleeping, just sleep (don't get caught). It's not how long you can work your brain, but how well your brain works when you do work it. While revising, sleep when you feel like. But for this reason, you should start your revision early. Spread your revision, and get it done when your mind is sharpest.

If you are a J2, have a bit of talent, and want my quality tuition, I'm available for $100 an hour.

HAHAHAHA. had a good laugh but it's true to a certain extent.

2011-03-16T10:53:00.004+08:00

i asked my mum if she has heard of the song 夢一場 and she asked me
"你做什么? 最近一直在听这个年代的歌?"
HAHAHA. xD
it just so happened that i'm starting to watch baiwan/xingguang again and they kept singing oldies which are nice (: or perhaps i'm secretly starting to age already O:
but nonetheless, here's another oldie!
a rendition by one of my favourite xingguang contestants !

and probably to "neutralize" the age effect, here's a slightly more 'modern' song!

*

suddenly i wonder,
what happens if i am overly-optimistic?
that everything will work out perfectly eventually?
aint there enough experiences that prove that?
yet then again, i keep telling others and myself to be optimistic,
to not lose that faith.
for that, i shall have one last try.
hang in there, my friends!
hang in there, xinyan.

for at the end of the day, everything will be fine again.

2011-03-15T14:24:00.002+08:00

Happiness: Lessons from a New Science
by Richard Layard

12 Truths About Happiness

Happiness Matters

1) Happiness is a real, objective phenomenon that can be measured. Good feelings drive out bad feelings, and vice versa.

2) We are programmed to seek happiness. Generally, what makes us happy is good for us...this includes sex but also cooperation and moral behavior.

3) It is self-evident that the best society is the happiest. This "ultimate" principle allows us to judge when morals conflict (e.g. truth vs. kindness).

4) Our society is not likely to become happier unless people agree that this is what we want to happen. This is a common good around which mankind should unite.

Sources of Happiness

5) Humans are deeply social beings. Friendship and marriage make people happier; unemployment makes people unhappier in part due to the breaking of social ties. Socializing is an end, not just a means.

6) As social beings, we want to trust each other. Average happiness per country (as well as suicide rate) can be explained by 6 factors:

•Proportion of people who say other people can be trusted
•Proportion who belong to social organizations
•Divorce rate
•Unemployment rate
•Quality of government
•Religious belief
Financial incentives, because they tend to reduce trust, may not be the best way to influence behavior.

7) People are deeply attached to the status quo. People like what is familiar to them--crime and mental illness are higher in transient or heterogenous communities. Change comes at a cost.

8) Human beings are status conscious. Natural selection has planted in us the desire to be better than other people, and status is a zero-sum game--the total amount of status in a society is fixed. Taxes may actually be useful; the disincentive to work may actually help capture the externality of envy induced. We should also educate the young to place less emphasis on status and more on helping others. Much of our civilization is "unnatural," so we can overcome natural selection.

9) Human beings are very adaptable. Income is addictive--you need to keep increasing it to increase happiness. On the other hand, friendship has a permanent effect on happiness. We habituate rapidly to what money can buy. If income is addictive, perhaps taxing it can be useful in the same way that taxing cigarettes discourages smoking.

10) Extra income increases happiness less and less as people get richer. Helping poor countries and poor people is a less expensive means of increasing happiness.

11) Happiness depends on your inner life as much as on outer experiences. Spiritual practices ranging from meditation to religion to positive psychology can make a difference, as can cognitive therapy.

12) Public policy can more easily remove misery than augment happiness.

Policy Implications

Markets are incredibly efficient, but do not guarantee happiness. The old saw is true--money, beyond a certain point, cannot buy happiness. Also, many of the key factors that impact happiness are not a result of voluntary exchange. Advertising, crime, friendliness, all of these have a major impact. Security is critical factor which is not generally considered in cost/benefit calculations.

Layard's Happiness Plan
•We should monitor happiness as closely as we monitor GDP and income.
•We should consider the happiness implications of policies such as taxes, performance-related pay, and mobility
•We should spend more on helping the poor (where money can have a disproportionate impact)
•We should spend more on tackling mental illness
•We should introduce more family-friendly policies at work, since these relationships are central to happiness
•We should subsidize activities that promote community life
•We should eliminate high unemployment using the "tough but tender" approach--all should have a chance to work, but if they choose not to, they shouldn't receive unemployment benefits.
•We should prohibit commercial advertising to children, as is the case in Sweden
•We need better education, especially moral education. This includes systems of morality, empathy, and the desire to serve others. The basic aim is to provide a sense of overall purpose wider than the self.

"A society cannot flourish without some sense of shared purpose. The current pursuit of self-realization will not work. If your sole duty is to achieve the best for yourself, life becomes just too stressful, too lonely--you are set up to fail. Instead, you need to feel you exist for something larger, and that very thought takes off some of the pressure."

"We desperately need a concept of the common good. I can think of no nobler goal than to pursue the greatest happiness of all."

"Some people say you should think about your own happiness, because you can only be happy as a by-product of something else. Of course you cannot be happy without a wider goal than yourself, but you cannot be happy either without self-knowledge and self-acceptance. If you feel low, there are centuries-old philosophies to help....happiness comes from outside and from within. The true pilgrim fights the evils in the world out there and cultivates the spirit within."

"Create all the happiness you are able to create: remove all the misery you are able to remove. Every day will allow you to add something to the pleasure of others, or to diminish something of their pains. And for every grain of enjoyment you sow in the bosom of another, you shall find a harvest in your own bosom; while every sorrow which you pluck out from the thoughts and feelings of a fellow creature shall be replaced by beautiful peace and joy in the sanctuary of your soul."

--Jeremy Bentham

*

that did it. and this pretty much summarizes up everything.
yet i can't help but say that, woah this is such a pragmatic society afterall.

2011-03-15T09:02:00.000+08:00

sigh.

2011-03-14T18:52:00.003+08:00

finally cut my hair after one year plus? the last time i did was right before scotland trip! :D guess i will miss my long hair for quite some time!
anyway i've decided that i might donate my hair (i have them in a neat bunch now) to hair-for-hope someday, hopefully the quality is good enough! (:

emma watson was asked in an interview why she had a pixie cut suddenly, because it is a common saying that women who have relationship problems would usually do something drastic to their hair. LOL._. rest assured i'm not having that problem now okay hahaha. or rather, i'm falling in love :D:D:D (haha and this is up to you to decipher)

古巨基 damn shuai omg.
meanwhile, jiayou jiayou to myself!

2011-03-12T22:07:00.002+08:00

just watched the japan tsunami news report ):

*

A man was trapped in prison, locked away behind bars of rusted steel. To the outside man he would be considered a convict, guilty of the crime he was accused. To the judge he was guilty, committing the crime presented.

But no one can determine whether he was really guilty or not. The evidence may be faked, witnesses bribed, the defendent disillusioned. It may seem that he was guilty, but many a time there is often more than meets the eye. No one can determine the truth, save one person.

Himself. The only person who knows his deepest emotions, feelings, motives and motivations. He may be accused of many things, things he never committed, things he never even heard of, but what’s important is that he knows, inside, he is innocent. And he fights. Not stopping until he has won. Until he was got the last laugh.

But sadly he had no powers to change the city he lived. Corruption forced him to accept the guilt for crimes he never committed, placed him behind bars, removed from society. It was a cage he could not break out, so instead he played along with the system, writing, thinking, writing. His works spread like wildfire, of how an innocent youth became the scapegoat of corruption.

Governmental policies, riots and demonstrations demanding justice, and he was free. Acquitted for his supposed crimes, he was allowed to leave. Leave the cell that trapped him in, into a larger cage of society. But on his way out he stopped, and looked back. He finally could leave, but suddenly he didnt want to.

That little cage had taught him reselience, perseverance, determination and self-belief. That little cage allowed him a perspective into other people’s plight. That little cage taught him not the give up, and to fight for his beliefs.

And he was just beginning to appreciate the view from the little window he had.

* and i'm just living in that little cell of my own.

2011-03-12T09:10:00.004+08:00

sorry i'm gonna back track in time (HAHAHA wkh ur blog url hurhur!)
and share some super oldies! potential k songs (Y) gosh i miss gng to kbox ):
or rather, i miss my voice man it's damn man now cause' of the stupid cough+flu
rawr rawr rawr~

*btw i think su hui lun is damn chio hahahha. cant believe she's 40 already and she still looks like how she was in these mv now*

and i wish that im well enough to go stayover later man
or rather, my mum allows me.
which the possibility.. tends to zero.

2011-03-09T18:45:00.002+08:00

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before but that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you.

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love him

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

If I ain't got you with me, baby
Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing

*a dedication to all my good friends who are currently shedding hair over all the crazy application. we'll all conquer this together!

2011-03-06T13:07:00.005+08:00

just want to say a little about my view on this whole episode.
to be honest, i really got lucky and i am happy about it.
many people say hardwork will eventually pay off, i guess it's true to a certain extent. i can't deny that i've really worked hard though abit too late, yet if i compare myself to some other friends that really slogged their hearts out and still didnt meet the cut, i really felt bad. and on the other hand, there are people who don't study a shit and still get straight aces lol, which i secretly admire actually. not just because they are naturally smart, but really, how they study. some people, like myself, purely memorize study and just puke things out. and then after some time (like now) we forget about everything we've learnt. so is this the main purpose of education? the whole introduction of the IP system, in my opinion, is to do away with all the examination and free time for us to develop our soft-skills and etc etc and not train us to be some exam grade whores isnt it? but sad to say, i am one myself. and no offense but i think almost everyone else is one too, it's just the whole singapore kiasu system? afterall we need something for benchmarking/judging others.

the night i went back after getting my results, this was what i got from my family:

sister: congratz! do look at the scholar choices section in the papers!
younger bro: Wah you happy ah? GP B = shit liao la you.
mum: not bad ah?
dad: gp b no one wants you alr la isnt it?

demoralizing much._.

so surprising how people love to look at the negative sides and spot others' mistakes first. or perhaps it's just high expectations.

and then yesterday my mum was complaining about me having no 自律, and as usual i defended myself by saying i have self-discipline only when there's the need to (lol bullshit) then she said if i had more self-discipline perhaps my gp might be better. lol i do not disagree but then again, really who knows. 人说知足常乐，更何况我已比其他人有的更多了. and i really thank god for this (: and as well as friends who stood by me, and mrs cleetus for being so concerned (:

p.s. above all, i have this very special friend that i've got to mention. i really thank you for what you have done (or not done in this case). i doubt you will ever read this place but just wanna say, no matter what you will always be that special friend of mine. and if you do happen to read this, please text me occasionally so that i know i still have you as my friend. (:
*

next step, what's gonna happen?
no one knows for sure, but what i can be certain is,
this is just the beginning.

2011-03-02T23:48:00.002+08:00

to be honest, i'm terribly nervous right now.
in fact, that is an understatement.
listening to underwood's songs now to calm and hoax myself to sleep.
after a while, i think i no longer know how i feel.

My God how great thou art!
Hear my prayer, take the wheel and take me through this.

2011-02-28T11:39:00.001+08:00

他四十岁，事业成功。一个小地方出来的穷小子，拼搏了二十几年，在一个大都市里，有让人尊敬的工作，有漂亮的大房子，有近百万的车子。我今年18，在深圳读大一。我们是同乡，到了这里后通过一个亲属在饭局上认识的。
第一次见面，我就被他的稳重和干练吸引了。高中的时候有过几段不成功的恋情，失身了的同时，我也意识到同龄的男生是多么肤浅。他这样一个成功的中年男人真的是太吸引人了。
那次见面之后我主动给他发了信息。起初都是很客气的聊天，互相关心。这样联系了十多天吧，他来学校接我。我们出去玩，我很习惯的挽起了他的手臂。晚上，我们开了房。
那是大半年前的事情了。现在，我们相处的很好。说句实在话，很多时候我都不觉得自己是小三，反而我们更像是恋爱中的男女。他会送花给我，会对我讲心事，会每天几个电话查岗，会在夜里生病的时候送我去医院……
　　最难忘的是又一次我们开车在高速公路上，当时车速大概有100迈，突然迎面冲来一辆大货车，他打转向的同时非常下意识的用手臂去互我的头，虽然是有惊无险，但那一次我意识到了他对我的真心。
　　由于他工作性质的原因，他住在城市的另一端，平时就住在单位那边，很少回家。我们在一起之后，周末便是我们俩的时光。他不回家他妻子也习以为常，而且他是一个非常有责任心的男人。
　　他妻子不工作，每个月他都会给妻子和孩子不菲的生活费，完全给了他们富足的生活。所以我真的觉得，我的出现并不会给他的家庭带来什么威胁。
　　我从来都没有想过让他离婚。我只是想把我们这样的关系维系下去。我太小了，结婚对我来说太遥远了。而且我真的不想让他背弃家庭，因为如果他是那样的男人，我也不会爱上他。我只是想和他在一起，有他照顾，我想很多的小三应该和我有一样的想法吧！
　　09年末的时候他买了辆20多万车给我，现在我们的房子也装修好了。我真的对这样的生活挺满意的，我有我的学业，（我是重点大学的），我的未来，他也有他的妻子和孩子。相爱的时候在一起，如果哪天不爱了，我们会平静的分手，好像一切都没有发生过一样。
　　我想几年以后，我毕业了，有更广阔的天地了。也许我们会分手，我会找一个爱我男人结婚，不会再背叛他。
　　而他也会回归家庭，过平淡的日子。虽然我会很不舍，但是我们都会理智的对待这一切，因为毕竟在一起过，这样就足够了。
　　其实我想说，很多的小三都不是单纯的肉欲金钱关系，我们之间也是有爱情的。只是这一切发生在错误的时间里。
　　我们并不想破坏你们温暖的家庭，我们也很爱他，不想他背信弃义。而且我想说的是，虽然他没说过，在他心里，最爱的人还是他的妻子，一日夫妻百日恩，虽然已经没有了当初的激情，但是爱情已经转化为亲情，无论是谁都取代不了妻子在他心中的地位的。

random link shared by a random friend on hotmail lol.
sounds pretty queer but probably true.
okay i'm really bored._.
anyway, thank you friends i'm fine, just feel lonely sometimes(:

2011-02-26T00:24:00.001+08:00

guess i just needed someone i can really talk to,
and then i realised,
there is none.

2011-02-23T21:05:00.002+08:00

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

*

by the way, i think the singapore secret garden is quite nice too haha.
informative! now i know something called erotomania :D
pretty cool hahaha you should try googling to find out what that is! (:

2011-02-21T12:00:00.002+08:00

青春期有完結篇北極熊有沒有未來
地球若要毀滅請帶走我的優越感

悲傷都是極短篇回收了眼淚才明白
總會有一首歌唱清楚你的方向感
生命為你提的字譜成搖滾樂的詩

冰河期有完結篇寒武紀從王菲聽來
地球要是可以請帶走我的安全感
狂歡都是極短篇回收了酒瓶才明白
總會有一首歌唱清楚你的方向感
生命為你提的字譜成搖滾樂的詩

我們應該更堅強的存在
我們應該阻止世界變壞
不只是科學不只是偶像崇拜
愛真相是愛

我們應該更堅強的存在
我們應該阻止世界變壞
不只是哲學不只是自己無害
愛真相是愛

我告訴我自己我告訴我自己
我告訴我自己愛要謙卑

2011-02-15T21:55:00.002+08:00

SINGAPORE : Most young Singaporeans do not see having children as a top priority, according to a new survey of over 1,000 Singaporeans and permanent residents aged 21 to 39 years.

The study, by advocacy group I Love Children, showed that only 3 per cent see having kids as a top priority.

28 per cent want a successful career, while 25 per cent want financial independence.

The survey comes on the back of Singapore’s fertility rate dropping to a record low of 1.16 last year.

Despite the results, it seems that Singaporeans do eventually want kids.

64 per cent said they still want to have children, and this includes those who already have kids and want more.

Of the remaining 36 per cent who did not want to have children or were not sure about it, 39 per cent said they would change their mind if finances were not an issue.

Almost half the group also said they would change their mind if they had a more supportive spouse.

And on the ideal number of children, married couples who already have two children said they would like to have up to four kids, provided they had a flexible work arrangement.

Singles and newly—weds though said they only want two kids at most.

Joni Ong, president of advocacy group I Love Children said: "The results came from 1008 respondents, and as you can see, the bulk of the respondents came from the single, soon to wed and the newly—wed. They formed the bulk of the respondents. And at that life stage, I’m not surprised that having children is not a top priority.

"At that age and life stage, carving a career for themselves, being financially independent would come out higher at that point in time."

*

but i want a kid, fat and fair one teehee.
okay yet i have to admit i must be rich enough first !
lol this is such a stupid post.

2011-02-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

蕭閎仁 !
ohmygosh why didn't i buy his album in taiwan man it's so freaking nice it pwned derrick's hands down (this is the hard truth lol)

別對自己說謊愈是假裝就愈是受傷
妳在愛中逃亡卻走失了我好害怕
太自由我們都太自由
不是想取暖想占有就能夠騙彼此說
爭吵都過去了
不自由我們都不自由
為何時間都靜止了我卻仍懷念著你
那背叛的溫柔

2011-02-04T01:01:00.002+08:00

新年快乐！

argh, boring and cliche way of starting but well, all the best for the new year to you folks! (:
brand (chinese) new year ahead ! and apparently they said monkeys will enjoy good fortune and luck for this year so yay ! (Y) hopefully that's true hahahah.
seriously time flew past before you even took notice of it!
like how one year ago we were still celebrating cny in school, having a random late lunch at xinwang and all the crazy council shit we did for candyco blahblahblah (ke$ha LOL)
damn, been out of school for too long really makes you less motivated and 没有上进心 (zhenping i finally agree with you D: )
especially when the people around you are getting what they want and you don't,
in all aspects.

hope that the new year would be a great one for us all! <3

2011-01-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

Kami, warganegara Singapura,
sebagai rakyat yang bersatu padu,
tidak kira apa bangsa, bahasa, atau agama,
berikrar untuk membina suatu masyarakat yang berdemokratik,
berdasarkan kepada keadilan dan persamaan
untuk mencapai kebahagiaan,
kemakmuran dan kemajuan bagi negara kami

i took 18 years to realize that there is actually a malay version of the singapore pledge.
so much for self-proclaiming that i'm patriotic ):

school started today and it was really tiring, even though i didn't do anything.
i think i spent more time worrying and yawning than doing proper work!
gosh need to sleep earlier tonight!!

2011-01-30T23:16:00.002+08:00

tomorrow marks the first day of my second job! :D
~~money~~ students here i come hahahahaha.
i don't know why but i kinda feel quite nervous suddenly, despite knowing that my mentor is a really nice woman and it's a girls sch that im teaching in, gosh):
take me through this!

on the sidenote, here's a comic relief! :

ANON says:
i was gaming last night hahah tell u also dno
LOL i suddenly rmb one of qh's tumblr pics
like wad if a guy pauses his game to text u back marry him or smth
like damn despise guys omg
and i was texting u back last night lor
I say:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH ROFL
that just proves that ur game was kinda boring hahaha
xD
huh and i dont rmb seeing that photo
ANON says:
um
true dat HAHAH
i rmb!
her whole album is emoemo tumblr quotes
(and i bet all written by gurls)
(to whine to guys one =

*

alright time to sleep!
CHIJ KELLOCKS HERE I FINALLY COME! :D

2011-01-29T00:12:00.002+08:00

went back to hwachong today! *happy*
was kind of weird how everything are the same yet they felt so foreign suddenly, like how you feel so out of place suddenly. that made me realised how much i miss being a student though):
and i miss sodache ohgosh! campfire night! (:

*

attended this teaching course this week, and i guess the biggest takeaway is the following analogy that my instructor (ms peck) shared with us:

Life is like a train ride.
We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy; some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents.

Sadly, this is far from the truth. Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along.Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey. Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or ever crossed your path.

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers, whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway. Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.

That’s okay. Everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes. We must strive to make the best of it, no matter what.

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone. Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may vacillate or hesitate, even trip. Hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding. The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop. Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop. My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage, most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.

I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

All aboard!
Safe journey!!

BON VOYAGE!

indeed, how i wish i could wish you bon voyage my friend,
everytime we crossed our paths and passed by like strangers.

2011-01-27T01:20:00.001+08:00

I say:
sad lor
i want to play slippery slope again!!
Ervin says:
chh
how to play
I say:
CHH?!
Ervin says:
its a sound
I say:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH (Y)
Ervin says:
mmhmm

haha inside joke much. yay now blogger has officially become my msn chat log book.